- Never let a preachur nor a polytishin hold yore wallet nor yore wife’s hand.
- A snake in a tow sack will always give you less trouble than a man in a robe.
- The fella that is yellin “Trust me” the loudest is the one most likely to have yore horse tied up behind hiz barn.
- The Left Wingers and the Right Wingers seem to forgit they is supposed to be on the same bird.
- A man that has a gun but tries to tell you he is a pacifist is jest a well-armed liar.
- Never take directions from somebody who has a map in his own hand.
- The judge and the weather fella iz the only two in the county that kin be wrong half the time and still get paid onest a week.