Well I guess you folks feel pretty battered by this winter…and rightly so I reckon. All those storms and cold fronts rolling in one right after another like a caravan of poor relatives. I want you to know I have been watchin and sayin my prayers for ya’ll nearly every night (except thursday when I bowl and get home late). But you pretty much got through it now and even though times ain’t as high as they wuz last year before the Super Bowl you can hold your heads up proud for being Cascadians. Tough bunch, especially the women folk.Now its easy to sit around and think you got the ugliest dog on the porch but there is others out there with their own trials and tribulations. I just want ya’ll to know it ain’t easy bein here in Texas.
First, there is all this fuss about our former govner. Now I am a card carryin Republican (you have to be in order to pack a gun and drink whiskey at the same time in Texas). I think once the facts are all in, history will find that ol George did the best he could with what he had to work with.
Deer season is over and we just got a report from the game warden that some of em lived….the hunters that is. A survey found that each hunter fired an average of 300 rounds and drank a gallon of Old Crow…on opening day. There was a three day lull before the survivors could return to the woods and find their deer blinds,. Dick Cheney showed up but didn’t kill anything cuz its hard to bring one down with rubber bullets.
Now the weather wern’t that great here neither. We had snow and ice and there wuz terrible accidents everywhere. Bert Mueller (of Bert and Sadie Mueller) lost control of his brand new Dodge pickup and ran right through the Chili Bowl Lanes during league night. He took out the stuffed animal machine and darn near killed the shoe shine boy. It cost him an extra $200.00 to get Chief Bob to removethe lovely Mary Jo Reuter off his passenger list on the accident report. Luckily nobody wuz really hurt tho Mary Jo did have some discomfort when her right ear hit the tuner knob on Bert’s radio.
Sears and Roebuck had a bunch of tire chains brought in but even tho we all bought some we still didn’t have enough to cover much of the roads.
As you can see we need some relief here too. If we can hold on one more month it will be cow-tippin season and things will lighten up a bit.